I am a 27 year old Indian woman, kind of a girl next door. What should I call this phase, second innings at being a teenager?? Does anyone remember those times when we were in twelfth standard and everyone wanted to know where were we headed in our career, which college were we planning to join? The same way, all that everyone wants to know from me now-a-days is “when are you getting married?”, “Who is the lucky guy?” I have been counting the number of times these questions have been asked till now, like Ranbir kapoor counts the number of oooo glances he gets thanks to his seductive Axe effect deo, my number stands at 527, people surely do want to see me getting married 😀 Makes me wonder “Am I being such a big nuisance being single?” Yeah !! Now don’t ask how many marriage proposals I have turned down till now, that’s all listed in my personal diary which is out of bounds for everyone 😛
Let me point out a few funny trends when you are around the marriageable age, when you are 23-24ish your parents would be strictly against love marriages, you will get comments like “Everyone will boycott you if you go for love marriage”, “We will not be able to show our face in the society” etc. Then you become 25-26ish, parents start getting restless, they search for groom/bride rigorously, try to bribe you for one yes and all the tricks in the world will be used on you. Example: “You are getting old, you would not find a good match after a few years”, “Don’t you feel lonely!”, “Pooja aunty was asking about you, when will you get married” etc. By the time, you are 27-28ish (which I am), the desperation levels start peaking and you get to hear comments like “Is there a guy’s photo you want to get approved for marriage”, “Whenever you want to get married, just tell us, we will fly down and get it down, no hassles”. This stage is called “Just get married for god’s sake” lol. I am sure by the time I am in 28-30 age group, I would get to hear comments like “Is there a problem with her”, “Did she have a heart break”, “What’s wrong with her”, “Is she a lesbian” lol.
In addition to the above trend, it’s funnier to observe how everyone around you, except thyself is super-excited to
get you married.
Let us start with mothers…oh dear mothers, they would run to our sweet, old pandits to ask “When is she going to get married? I am really worried”. And if the pandit assures them “She is will be married by December” Mums just believe them whole-heartedly even when a daughter like me tells her mother “Mum, there is no guy whose photo I want to get approved for marriage”. They believe the pandits and the whole destiny game more and neglect the fact that guys just don’t fall from the sky and boom your daughter is married then lol. So basically, to tell you the truth, I am going to be married by this December as the dear pandit predicts, let us wait and watch 🙂
Next in the line are our fathers, oh how much I love my popsi, let me share an epic comment made by my father “You have been staying outside for a decade now and you have so many guy friends, you could not finalise one guy, what did you do all this time” lol that would surely make you feel like a complete loser, even for a second, a tiny bit of a second then you will burst into laughter because it was a passing-by comment 😉
And then your granny, aunts, uncles would collectively sit and try to brainwash your mind that it’s high time you should get married.
Leave apart your family and relatives, your flatmates too, who would be 5 years younger than you like in my case, would get excited to get you married and take the responsibility of finding a groom for you. A few of them would be motivated just because they love going to weddings and wearing lehengas 😛
So, the message to all the people who are yet to reach my age is “This is going to happen, so either be mentally strong to face it or get married” and message to people who are unmarried and in my age group…hmm what should I say!! If you are unmarried at this age, there would probably be 3 reasons for it:
1)You don’t want to get married: If that’s what makes you happy, so be it !!! But be very sure that you are strong enough to stand by your decisions and you will not regret them later.
2)You do want to get married but you are not able to find the right person: In this category, I notice 2 kinds of people:
a) Who want to get married because we are supposed to as per the Indian societal norms otherwise you will be
considered abnormal. Well for such people: best of luck, keep looking, please don’t end up getting divorced.
b) Who want a life partner, not a fake marriage: That’s a good thought but remember a few things like there is nothing
called as a perfect partner, perfect marriage and please don’t set overly high standards that I want a partner who
should this AND this AND and …consider “OR”‘s as well as per the weightage given to attributes. For example: it is ok to
marry someone who is not very good-looking but is a very balanced, nice person.
3) You are lost/ not ready, then you should wait till you are ready. Though I have heard people saying things like “You will
never be ready, so just get married” yes that is also true for a lot of people. But you have to take the decision yourself.
Now which category do I belong to from the above list? No comments 🙂
Marriage is a beautiful institution and it is a bliss to have a life partner. But there is no guarantee whether your marriage will work out for you or not. We see love marriages also ending up in bitter divorces. You have to act intelligent and most importantly know what you are, your likes/dislikes, what do you want out of your life, Period
PS: I love my parents, your parents and everyone’s parents, they just care for us but my blog talks about the funny side of all this. I apologise if my comments offend anyone.