How to be careful about the ‘optics’?

How to be careful about the ‘optics’?

I am not talking about fiber optics or the branch of science which deals with propagation of light, I am talking about YOUR optics, optics of who YOU are, who do YOU come across as?

A lot of times people build pretense personalities, probably to fit in best in the society or as a defense mechanism. For example, I meet some people who show-case themselves to be very strong however they are quite weak and fragile, not just physically but emotionally as well.

I agree that it is important to protect and guard ourselves, I do that, too quite fiercely actually however it is just so unoriginal to always pretend to be someone you are not. Leave apart the unoriginality part, it can sometimes lead to unexpected and disappointing incidents. Let me explain with an actual incident.

A good friend of mine met a gentleman. The gentleman showed all his cards to her when she met him the first time. He revealed about his past and other details about his life. The gentleman had a good sense of humour, was quite entertaining, would narrate stories about how he flirts with any woman, based on which my friend concluded that he is not serious about dating.

When they met the second time, the equation changed, they got romantic, the kind which makes you go weak in knees and makes you mushy. This was quite surprising and scary for my friend but she was playing along until the guy popped the ‘M’ word, he blurted out that he wants to get married.

She felt so conflicted due to the contrasting first and second date experience that she told him that ‘let us stay away from each other, never contact each other’. She had no way to verify which was the true personality, who was he? the flirt or the nice/decent guy and going ahead with the relationship would have been a risky thing, considering the fact that he made her feel so emotional and vulnerable.

The lesson to be learnt from this incident is, be and project your personality (optics) to be what you want from your life. Had the gentleman not put up the pretense about his flirtatious nature, he might have convinced my friend to date him, such a shame!

 

 

 

 

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